No habla espanol

January 20, 2012

A while back, hubby and I went to Mexico.  On our last full day there so we decided to check out the spa at our hotel.  I speak VERY little Spanish (I can order food and ask for the bathroom) so that made the week very interesting.

As usual at a spa, I changed into a robe and slippers and waited for my masseuse to summon me.  When she did, she told me (in Spanish I didn’t understand and gestures) to hang my robe on the hook in the room and put on the items sitting on the table.  She exited the room and I picked up the first item.  It was blue and made out of paper.  It reminded me a bit of a diaper (curved with elastic on the sides) and had two fasteners but I didn’t see any velcro or anything to fasten it with.  Perplexed, I moved to the next item so I wouldn’t be standing around naked when the masseuse returned.  It was easily recognizable as paper panties. 

I hopped up on the table, still confused by the first item.  Finally, I decided it must be to put my hair up.  A number of masseuses like to use a lot of oils around the neck area.  The paper wasn’t big enough to hold all my hair (especially since I was rocking a Fraggle ‘fro) but I put it on as best I could.  The two fasteners were dangling under my chin at this time (like you would fasten a helmet).  I decided against tying them together because I thought that would look silly.  Little did I know…

The masseuse knocks on the door and I’m feeling all proud of myself for knowing how to say "I’m ready" in Spanish.  She comes in the room looking impressed by my Spanish then looks at me and immediately stifles a laugh.  Once again, by speaking unrecognizable Spanish and gesturing, she lets me know that the paper headpiece was not meant for my head.  It was a bandeau/tube top.  I was embarrassed but all I could do was laugh as she helped me tie it on.

I know she had a good laugh with her coworkers when I left but how I was supposed to know?  No other spa that I know gives out paper tops.  In any event, I managed to add one more item to the list of ways I’ve embarrased myself in foreign countries.

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You think your job is bad?

January 10, 2012

The Discovery Channel and the History Channel are two of my favorites.  Lately I’ve been watching two shows that really illuminate just how easy most of us have it.  The first show is called Ice Road Truckers.  These guys drive big rigs across FROZEN LAKES to get supplies to far off mines near the Artic Circle.  Why?  So you and I can wear pretty baubles.  That’s right, they’re risking their lives to deliver loads to the DeBeers mine.  Because the mine is so far out, there is no other way to get supplies there.  The "ice road" is only open two months out of the year so if they don’t get supplies then, they don’t get it at all and the mine would shut down.  With every run, the guys are risking it all.  The ice could crack at any time and I’ve seen rigs fall through the ice.  With the air tempature at NEGATIVE thirty below, the water is frigid and the chance of survival is pretty low if you go into the lake.  Now, don’t get me wrong, these guys get paid A LOT ($30K+ for two months of work) but you couldn’t pay me enough to be an ice road trucker.

The other show I’ve been watching is Deadliest Catch.  I love crab cakes and hubby loves crab in general.  Ever think about how those tasty king crabs wound up on your plate?  Men are putting in 20 hour days for weeks straight!  Once again, they’re near the Artic Circle.  It’s a grueling, thankless job and the risks are high.  These guys are working out in the elements, getting soaked by the waves, hauling 800 lb crab pots around.  If you fall into the water (as I saw on one episode), if you’re in for more than 2-3 minutes, you will most likely die.  Your body will go into shock almost immediately and you will get hypothermia.  The closest medical care (via Coast Guard chopper) is hours away.  The guy I saw fall in was pulled from the water just in the nick of time (to avoid drowning) but his recovery from the hypothermia was iffy.  They literally didn’t know if he would live or die.  The camera crew stopped filming out of respect for the situation and the young man (a lot of these guys are kids - 18, 19 years old) asked that they continue to film so that he could record some last words for his family.  It’s that serious!  So the next time you’re cracking some crab legs, just think about what someone went through to get it to you.

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Common sense?

December 31, 2011

Things have been busy lately so I’ll leave with you another repost from the old blog…

There are three things in life that are certain - death, taxes and coed conversations turning into bashing of the opposite sex. While I was enjoying the great outdoors this past weekend, just such a conversation ensued. One slightly older woman (mid-40s perhaps) decided to jump on the bandwagon with her own personal "proof" that men just can’t be trusted.
She met a guy while out of town at a professional conference. They exchanged numbers and talked on the phone for a few weeks. There appeared to be a mutual interest so they decided to meet. He was to drive to the city where she lived and have dinner with her. For whatever reason (she didn’t elaborate on this part), they decided not to go to dinner and to make it a "Blockbuster night" instead. She arranged to meet him at a nearby gas station. She stated that before she left to meet him, something told her to lock one of the french doors leading into her bedroom "just in case." She met him at the gas station as planned and they went to the video store. She let him choose the movie and he paid for it with her not knowing the movie he’d selected. They got to her house and he turned on the movie. She said while she wouldn’t go as far to call it porn, the movie was definitely of a highly sexual nature. She got up, turned the movie off and told the guy that she wanted to end the date. He then flipped out on her, threw her to the ground and tried to strangle her. She was able to flee into the bedroom and quickly latch the door behind her (having already latched one door earlier in the evening). She called a friend, who called the police but the guy left before they arrived.
While there is no excuse for his behavior, the situation definitely could have been avoided by using some common sense. But since we all know common sense isn’t that common, here are the five rules for first dates.
  • A first date should NOT occur at your home (or his home, for that matter). You should plan to meet (as in NOT have him pick you up) in a very public location. This is for your safety. Just because he seems really cool does not mean that he isn’t crazy. Always leave yourself an out and don’t put yourself in a situation where you are alone with him. There will be plenty of time for that later (as in after the third date or so).
  • Let someone know where you’re going, with whom and when they should expect you back. In college, we would actually ask to see ID before our friends went on dates. Having the guy’s REAL NAME (yeah all your boys call you Slim but what does your birth certificate say?) and address can be a great deterrent for your garden variety idiot (of course, it won’t help if he’s certifiably insane). This isn’t just for teenagers though. If you go missing on Friday night, there’s a better chance of being found if someone realizes you’re missing on Saturday morning as opposed to Wednesday morning because you haven’t showed up at work for three days.
  • Take enough money (preferably in cash) to pay for your meal/movie/whatever and get home. You do not want to make yourself beholden to someone you barely know. If you’re halfway through your lobster and he decides he’s not paying for your gold-digging (just kidding) arse, you could be in a sticky situation. Now don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying you actually have to pay for yourself but you should have enough money to do so if the need arises.
  • Along the same lines, don’t be greedy! A first date is not an opportunity to try all the stuff you can’t afford or are too cheap to buy for yourself. If you know you don’t have enough loot (or wouldn’t buy even if you had the loot) for three rounds of drinks, an appetizer, surf n turf, dessert AND coffee afterwards, then don’t order it! It’s just like a business meal, when in doubt, take your cues from the person who’s paying. And for those of you who can afford and would normally order all of the above, that’s great BUT show a little consideration. Would YOU really want to come out of pocket for $150+ on a first date? I didn’t think so…
  • I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying - why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free. Well quit giving out tastes when you know the milk isn’t for sale. Now I’m a firm believer in "no means no" but if you have NO intention of giving him the goodies, don’t be a tease. It’s not cute and you’re asking for trouble. If you play with fire long enough, you’re bound to get burned. Nuff said.

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A mighty good man

December 21, 2011

Women, Black women in particular, frequently complain about how a "good man" is hard to find.  Then someone, usually but not always a man, accuses the women of overlooking the blue collar brothers.  So what do you do when you’ve found yourself a good blue collar brother and everyone gives you flack?

I was talking to an acquaintance on Saturday and she asked what was hubby’s profession.  She said she asked because her family gives her a hard time about the fact that her BF doesn’t have a professional job and was wondering if I had the same problem.  She has a master’s degree and is headed to med school soon.  She said her BF has a degree  but has a blue collar job (she didn’t specify what it was) and that everyone is critical of her choice of mate.  She said her parents have come around now that they know him better but the rest of the family is not so open-minded.  They continually suggest that she dump him and get back with her ex (who had a white collar job but treated her like crap).

I told her that the situation must be hard on her but as long as she’s happy and has her parents’ support, not to worry about the others.  While family wants what (they think) is best for you, sometimes the best comes in an unusual package.  A great example of that is her cousin (which is how I know her).  Everyone (I’ll admit, myself included) was a bit skeptical when she decided to marry a guy who was a few years younger than her and had no degree and no real career path at the time.  At the time, she was a corporate attorney making big bucks and owned her own place.  BUT…now that we’ve all gotten a chance to know her husband and see how they interact as well as how he is with their daughter…I honestly think he is the PERFECT guy for her.

Have any of you had a similar problem?  What advice would you give my acquaintance?

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Hustlin’

December 11, 2011

I can appreciate the fact that a lot of people are trying to get their side hustle on, in addition to the nine-to-five grind. However, what I do not appreciate is everyone trying to solicit me for the pyramid scheme du jour. Maybe they’re not smart enough to recognize a pyramid when they see one, or maybe they think I’m not smart enough to recognize one but it’s pissing me off nonetheless. Don’t tell me you’re having a party and send me an evite for a business pitch. I’m not trying to drop money on anything that requires me to recruit fifty of my closest friends before I see any of that money again. I can think of much better ways to waste my money. If you’ve got a REAL business to invest in, complete with business plans and such, then holla at me. I might just be interested. Until then, keep your hustlin’ to yourself. I have no interest in selling vitamins, VoIP, cell phones or whatever it is you do.


On a slightly related note, I realize that to whom much is given much is required. But I’m not required to spend all my money while you spend none of yours. My family members seem to have forgotten that I am not the bank. Stop asking me to pay for stuff for other folks’ kids! Especially when the folks whose kids they are KNOW not to fix their mouths to ask me for anything. I don’t fool with them for a reason and they’re all well aware of what that reason is. Now I feel bad that their kids have to suffer the fate of having triflin’ parents but if I wanted to pay for summer camp and computers and dorm room decor, I would have some little tax deductions of my own. Rant over, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

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It’s Cirque time again!

January 7, 2009

Once again, Cirque du Soleil has come to town. Hubby and I have tix for this Saturday and I’m excited. We love love love Cirque and have seen almost all their shows. We saw the newest show (Cris Angel - Believe) when we were in Vegas in November and we were NOT impressed.  I won’t hold it against them though.

Tomorrow is my Friday and the weekend is going to be busy.  Late lunch with a friend on the real Friday as well as a small shindig on Friday evening.  I’m thinking about skipping my alumni meeting on Saturday morning then we’re going to Cirque on Saturday afternoon.

Meanwhile, we’re still trying to figure out our summer trip this year.  We only have ONE trip planned for 2009, which is a first for us!  I saw a fabulous compound (for lack of a better word, it was comprised of three villas) in St. Thomas available for rent.  The only problem is that it sleeps 20 so we would need 18 of our closest friends to go too.  LOL.

Nevertheless, I can already tell that 2009 is going to be one fantastic year.  I just need to think of a nice Jesse Jackson-ish motto for the year.  What rhymes with ‘nine’?

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Happy New Year!

January 1, 2009
Happy New Year everyone!  We rang in the new year at home, with a few friends, some old and some new.  Now hubby and I are sitting on the sofa with our laptops.  We’ve truly enjoyed our time off.  I’m sure Monday will be difficult because we’ll finally head back to work.  I’m not going to set any particular resolutions for this year.  I will just continue to strive to be the best I can be in all aspects of my life.  Have a great weekend and a great year!

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Blogging from the BlackBerry

December 30, 2008

It’s a beautiful day today - sunny and perfect. Hubby and I decided to go for a bike ride. Of course, I’m pooped after only three miles. So hubby went ahead and I’m waiting for him to get back. I’m sure I can do the three miles back to the car but I’m hungry.

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Merry Christmas!

December 25, 2008
I’m sitting on the sofa at my dad’s house, surfing the net.  Hubby is sitting next to me, playing video games with my cousin.  GeckoBro is on the opposite sofa, tinkering with his laptop.  And my dad is sitting in front of his computer, reading Newsweek.  We finished eating breakfast not too long ago and are just relaxing, enjoying each other’s company.  This is what Christmas is all about.  We exchanged gifts before breakfast and I loved seeing the looks on everyone’s faces as they opened their gifts.  We’re off to my cousins’ house later for Christmas dinner. I hope you’re all having an enjoyable Christmas as well.

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What a morning!

December 22, 2008

Saturday night, we went out around 11pm and the temp was still 65 degrees.  Contrast that with the temp when I left the house this morning, 17 degrees!  Good googly moogly.  To top it off, either the power went out this morning and/or a breaker tripped.  I don’t know why but in any event, the lights went out as we were trying to get dressed.  All was well by the time we left but of course, it only resolved itself AFTER hubby manually opened the garage door and pulled both cars out of the garage.  Such is life, I suppose.

I’m only working a half day today and tomorrow because GeckoBro is arriving this afternoon.  Of course, he just told me what he wanted for Christmas on Saturday.  So, sometime today or tomorrow, I need to handle that.  Hopefully you guys are all done with your shopping.  So, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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