One Life Stand

**This is a repost from the old blog**

I’m talking about women, Black women in particular. For years, I’ve listened as a steady stream of women gave the reasons they “get along” with and prefer the company of men over their fellow women. In fact, I’ve been guilty of giving my own list of reasons on more than a few occasions. As an aside, and maybe a post for another day, do white (or other non-Black) women have this same issue? If they do, I’m not aware of it but I would be even more disheartened if this is a phenomenon that only exists in our culture. But getting back to the point, a lot of the people I consider close – ride or die, bail you out of jail, loan you their last dollar, give you a kidney – friends are men and the women that are included in my inner sanctum are ones I’ve known for 10+ years. Surely, ALL women aren’t catty, man-bashing jezebels. So why all the disdain?

Is it really that hard to find women who share your interests and beliefs and will have your back to boot? From the stories you hear, it would appear women have a harder time finding a good woman than men do. Then again, my grandmother always said that good friends are hard to find and if you can count yours on more than one or two hands, you don’t have as many friends as you think you do. I know some of my own unwillingness to socialize with “new”, unknown women is my low tolerance of hen parties, as one of my male friends calls them. I know everyone, male or female, needs to vent sometimes but honestly, it gets old after a while. I dislike using such a broad brush because I know it isn’t an accurate portrayal but I have a hard time sitting around listening to the same old all men are dogs, I ain’t got no money but I get my toes done every week, I can’t find a good man but I’m trying to get one of my three bad ones to pay my light bill prattle.

However, all that said. I still don’t know the answer to the question. Why can’t we all just get along?