One Life Stand

Hubby and I spent last week enjoying the sun and fun of Acapulco.  Friday was our last full day there so we decided to check out the spa at our hotel.  I speak VERY little Spanish (I can order food and ask for the bathroom) so that made the week very interesting.

As usual at a spa, I changed into a robe and slippers and waited for my masseuse to summon me.  When she did, she told me (in Spanish I didn’t understand and gestures) to hang my robe on the hook in the room and put on the items sitting on the table.  She exited the room and I picked up the first item.  It was blue and made out of paper.  It reminded me a bit of a diaper (curved with elastic on the sides) and had two fasteners but I didn’t see any velcro or anything to fasten it with.  Perplexed, I moved to the next item so I wouldn’t be standing around naked when the masseuse returned.  It was easily recognizable as paper panties. 

I hopped up on the table, still confused by the first item.  Finally, I decided it must be to put my hair up.  A number of masseuses like to use a lot of oils around the neck area.  The paper wasn’t big enough to hold all my hair (especially since I was rocking a Fraggle ‘fro) but I put it on as best I could.  The two fasteners were dangling under my chin at this time (like you would fasten a helmet).  I decided against tying them together because I thought that would look silly.  Little did I know…

The masseuse knocks on the door and I’m feeling all proud of myself for knowing how to say "I’m ready" in Spanish.  She comes in the room looking impressed by my Spanish then looks at me and immediately stifles a laugh.  Once again, by speaking unrecognizable Spanish and gesturing, she lets me know that the paper headpiece was not meant for my head.  It was a bandeau/tube top.  I was embarrassed but all I could do was laugh as she helped me tie it on.

I know she had a good laugh with her coworkers when I left but how I was supposed to know?  No other spa that I know gives out paper tops.  In any event, I managed to add one more item to the list of ways I’ve embarrased myself in foreign countries.