One Life Stand

Hubby and I spent last week enjoying the sun and fun of Acapulco.  Friday was our last full day there so we decided to check out the spa at our hotel.  I speak VERY little Spanish (I can order food and ask for the bathroom) so that made the week very interesting.

As usual at a spa, I changed into a robe and slippers and waited for my masseuse to summon me.  When she did, she told me (in Spanish I didn’t understand and gestures) to hang my robe on the hook in the room and put on the items sitting on the table.  She exited the room and I picked up the first item.  It was blue and made out of paper.  It reminded me a bit of a diaper (curved with elastic on the sides) and had two fasteners but I didn’t see any velcro or anything to fasten it with.  Perplexed, I moved to the next item so I wouldn’t be standing around naked when the masseuse returned.  It was easily recognizable as paper panties. 

I hopped up on the table, still confused by the first item.  Finally, I decided it must be to put my hair up.  A number of masseuses like to use a lot of oils around the neck area.  The paper wasn’t big enough to hold all my hair (especially since I was rocking a Fraggle ‘fro) but I put it on as best I could.  The two fasteners were dangling under my chin at this time (like you would fasten a helmet).  I decided against tying them together because I thought that would look silly.  Little did I know…

The masseuse knocks on the door and I’m feeling all proud of myself for knowing how to say "I’m ready" in Spanish.  She comes in the room looking impressed by my Spanish then looks at me and immediately stifles a laugh.  Once again, by speaking unrecognizable Spanish and gesturing, she lets me know that the paper headpiece was not meant for my head.  It was a bandeau/tube top.  I was embarrassed but all I could do was laugh as she helped me tie it on.

I know she had a good laugh with her coworkers when I left but how I was supposed to know?  No other spa that I know gives out paper tops.  In any event, I managed to add one more item to the list of ways I’ve embarrased myself in foreign countries.

There’s this guy at work (in another department) that I have to deal with on a somewhat regular basis.  I find him so annoying.  He aggravated the heck out of me yesterday so I was glad to head out of work early.  I stopped at Kroger on the way home and heard a familiar voice as I got in the checkout line.  WTF?  It was that dude - the annoying dude from work.  So of course, I’m ducking and diving because I really don’t want to talk to him.  It turns out he works at the AJC ‘kiosk’ trying to sell subscriptions.  I know folks complain about the pay here but surely it’s not that serious.  If you’re going to moonlight, at least go to UPS or somewhere that will pay well.

They say there’s a first time for everything.  So Saturday night, I went to the club.  I’m not a club person.  I probably haven’t been to a club in two years or so.  Not only did I go to the club but a hole-in-the-wall club in a less than stellar part of town…with my dad!  That’s right, me and GeckoDad at the club.

My older brother (GeckoBigBro - GBB) recently decided he wants to DJ.  He told us he had a gig at a new club that had opened a few weeks ago.  I wasn’t really feeling going, much less to that part of town.  I’m scaredy-cat, you know.  I had made up in my mind that I would only go if GeckoBro (my younger brother) came back with my car in time (he’d gone to a basketball game with some friends).  So when he didn’t show up, I was just going to put on my PJs.  But then GeckoDad said he’d go with me!  At 10 o’clock at night!  This is the same man who used to get on me for trying to leave the house after 9pm.  Nevermind that HE probably hasn’t been to a club in 30 years.  He has never been that "cool dad".  He’s the dude who’s at the church almost everyday and takes the kids from the church camp to the skating rink.

We got in the car and headed to the shady part of town.  He was driving and I was navigating but we were having a hard time finding the place.  Finally, he spotted GBB’s car in a nearly empty parking lot.  We did a u-turn and I saw my car (which GeckoBro was driving).  We parked and walked in.  The music was bumping but the place was empty.  Seriously empty…as in there were eight people inside - our family (five people), the bartender and two folks sitting at the bar.

We made the best of it though.  There was a pool table so we played a few games then hung out in the "DJ booth" with GBB.  He seemed really happy that we all came out to support him so it was worth it.

Well Linens N Things did have the decorations I wanted.  However, the box wouldn’t fit in my trunk!  Putting it in the front seat wasn’t an option because my coworker was with me.  After wrestling with the box for five minutes (I really didn’t want to have to return the item), we decided to just discard the box and put the contents in the trunk.  This is the first time having a teeny car has been an inconvenience.  And hubby wonders why I make him chaffeur me when shopping for the house :-)